Marian Grace Gallson (nee Gamble)

January 31, 1932-August 15, 1999
Written by Sharlene Buszka (nee Gallson)

Our mother, a woman of grace, beauty, and kindness could always fill a room with the sparkle of her joyful, optimistic personality.   What a remarkable conversationalist she was with an easy, open manner that could put the shyest person at ease.  Even without these skills she charmed all she met with her beautiful English accent.

A good part of her girlhood was spent outside of London, England during World War II. Though living through air raids, blackouts and bombings had to have been a frightful experience, her stories to us reflected her ever-positive nature.  One of our favorites was when she used all her ration coupons to buy a stash of Mars bars to last through the war, only to eat them all within a day.  She also described how happy she was when during the more intense periods of bombings; school was cancelled, much like our “snow days” today.  Her family, as most in the London area, had their own bomb shelter in the backyard.  These weren’t the roomiest and her brother Fred, who was quite tall, could only fit by sticking his legs out of the shelter. A doodlebug dropped a time bomb in their backyard. Yet, as typical men, her Dad and the other men of the neighborhood investigated by poking at it with a stick.  Not wanting to separate the family, her Dad decided they would simply live in the front of the house until the bomb went off.  His calculations proved correct. No one was injured and only the back of their home was damaged when the explosion occurred.  Perhaps this was one of the reasons she said she always felt safe during the war when her Dad was around.

Another favorite memory of her girlhood in England included being picked up by her Mum on Friday afternoons after school with her sister Helen to go to the movie theatre.  She was selected “games captain” at school because of her athletic ability.  She especially enjoyed basketball and tennis. She loved going out dancing with her friends on the weekends.  She and her best chum Marjorie enjoyed dancing with each other so much they often would not even allow boys to cut in. Their family lived a modest life, yet they enjoyed their holidays at the seaside and rides on Sunday afternoons.

Our Grandfather decided there were more opportunities in Canada so when our mother was 21, her Mum, Dad and sister Helen left for Mattawa, Ontario. Her brother Fred remained behind with his wife Bettie, only to join them several years later.  Our parents enjoyed sharing how they were destined to be together. During the same month and year (April 1953), while Mum was crossing the Atlantic Ocean from England, Dad was crossing the Pacific Ocean from Japan, only for them to later meet in the very small, nondescript village of Mattawa.  As a soldier in the U.S. Army, Dad was home on a 30-day leave when a local storekeeper insisted he meet this girl from England.  Apparently, he had been working on Mum as well but neither was interested as both had many other prospects.  (Mum had actually been engaged twice before). Yet somehow he finally got them together and our Dad was as charmed by our mother’s beauty and English accent, as most were.  Mum thought Dad was so handsome in his uniform and after dating for only two weeks, Dad had decided Mum was the one for him. Their first date was in July and by September, Dad was back visiting from his assignment in Minneapolis, Minnesota and he asked for Marian’s hand. Her father gave his answer stating  “You seem like a nice enough chap” and they were married on December 5, 1953. They honeymooned in Niagara Falls coincidentally only 30 miles from where they eventually made their permanent home.

Because Dad was in the Army our family moved often. The first stop was Minneapolis, Minn. where Phillip was born. Shortly thereafter they moved to Washington DC where I was born. We weren’t there long. While Phillip was only 15 months and I was 1 month old, Mum drove our house trailer through the Great Smokey Mountains to Fort Campbell, Ky.  There, Christopher arrived. Fort Campbell was the longest assignment for our family. It was also when Mum became a Christian and was baptized. Though over 700 miles from their families, who had by that time moved to North Bay, Ontario, some of our happiest memories were the trips up North once or twice a year to visit our grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

Our childhood was filled with love, cuddles on the couch, stories, songs, and wonderful themed birthday parties complete with beautifully decorated, homemade cakes. Knowing our parents lived on a tight budget in those early years, we were always amazed at how well dressed we were and how comfortable and homey my mother made the many different government quarters we lived in.  She sewed much of our family’s clothing, including muu muus and matching aloha shirts when we lived in Hawaii. She was a wonderful cook, some of her specialties were roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, fish-n-chips and English trifle. In later years, she managed family finances in such a way that there was always money for family vacations, her many home projects and finally her dream home, an English Tudor. 

While living in Hawaii she met one of her dearest friends, Jose at an English wives club. They discovered they had lived within miles of each other growing up in England.  Jose was a creative person and opened our mother to this side of herself.  They spent every Tuesday morning beach glass hunting with our younger brother Christopher in tow.  They took their brown bag lunches and visited various beaches around the island of Oahu looking for multicolored pieces of beach glass rubbed smooth into interesting shapes. They would be used later to make beach glass lamps. They even had a ranking system for the colors of glass.  Brown and green were quite common but how exciting to find purple or a pink! Driftwood and shells would also be gathered to be added to oriental flower arrangements they would  design.

As teenagers and young adults our cups of tea and talks became a haven during the years we all began to spread our wings.  She never tried to force her opinions on us but instead gently prodded with loving advice.  Over the years her many loving words of wisdom come back to me as I share them with my own children. I would not have found and married the person I did without my mom’s advice to go to the library at school to meet someone new. She welcomed all our friends as we were growing up, having my father finish off a game room so we would always have a place to hang out.  Often, however, friends spent more time talking upstairs in the kitchen to Mum. She became well known for her heaping plates of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, commonly known as Mrs. Gallson’s specials, with Christopher and his friends. And during the “Saturday Night Fever” days it wouldn’t be unusual to find Mum with a group of us practicing the latest disco steps in our living room. She also shared her dancing skills by teaching us all to waltz and foxtrot before our weddings.

Our Dad came home daily to an immaculate home, well cared for children and dinner on the table exactly at six o’clock. When asked what she had wanted to be when she grew up, she replied “a wife and a mother.” Today many may say, “that’s all?” but Mum did it with a passion and love that all would admire and respect. Our home was her pride and joy.  Each room had a theme; the hunt room, the game room, the craft room, the antique room.  Every picture, every item in these rooms was carefully planned and selected to create a warm and welcoming home.

The year Dad was in Viet Nam Mum exhibited the strength of her character, running our household smoothly in my father’s absence.  She was so proud that she was able to drive us all safely up to North Bay in a blinding snowstorm.  In addition to letters, she would send Dad frequent cassette tapes, filling him in on all the family happenings.

During our father’s assignment at West Point she decided they should take up the game of golf.  This, too, ended up a wise decision as golfing filled our parents last twenty years with much enjoyment.  Mum’s athletic abilities served her well on the links as well. She will always be remembered by those she golfed with her for her fluid swing and her “two putts please”.  

As her children grew and married she was so thankful we all stayed in the Buffalo area. She warmly welcomed her two daughter-in-laws and son-in-law into the family, insisting they call her “Mum.” Each grandchild’s birth was eagerly anticipated.  She was so proud to share that she had twelve grandchildren.

At church she will be remembered for her smile, warmth and friendliness.  She was an organized church librarian and board secretary. Her love of music was shared as a choir member and even in recent years through her enthusiastic congregational singing. She was a teacher and helper at vacation bible school, patient, kind and accepting of all. Of course, the children of the church will more than likely remember Mum as the Tick-Tac lady who would eagerly offer any child their favorite flavor of tick -tacs.

The children of her neighborhood will also remember my mother’s friendly, sharing ways.  She would let them come into her home and fill baggies with whatever they could find in her candy cupboard. Although we had no cats of our own, she even had cat treats on hand to feed any neighborhood cat that wandered by.

As most of you well know our mother was struggling with the mental deterioration brought on by Alzheimer’s disease.  But even this, she handled with grace and a positive attitude.  She continued to push herself to do all she was capable of.  She would give herself pep talks by counting on her fingers the things she could still do instead of lamenting what she couldn’t. Though it was becoming difficult for her to cook, she continued to make Apple-pies and brownies for Sunday afternoon lunches.  Over the last year, her life revolved largely around Dad; taking walks, playing cards every evening at 8:30, golfing, doing her daily “Wonderword” in the paper and completing simple puzzles. Her grandchildren will remember how she would pay them each a dollar to weigh themselves at her house.  Those who lived close by would often stop for a quick weigh-in when they were short of cash. Music still brought her much pleasure.  She loved Roger Whitikar and listening to WECK on 1230 AM.  When I accompanied Mum on walks, we would sing the same songs she taught me as a child: Daisy, K-K-K Katie, On the Mountain Stands a Lady, Always, Frere Jacque, A-You’re Adorable, You Are my Sunshine, and He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands. Though her speech was becoming more and more limited, she loved to tell others they were “smashing” and then tell them not to say good-bye but to say “Cheerio”. When talking about her disease she would say, “I always want to be kind”, and that she was until the very last.

Our Mum was a joy to all!!! The light that was slowly fading and has flickered out in this life is again shining brightly as she waits with her Heavenly Father to be reunited with us one day.  If she could speak to us now, I’m sure she would say that it’s “smashing” in Heaven”, and that this “Cheerio” is for only a brief time while she waits to welcome us to our heavenly home with a lovely “cuppa” tea. 

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