Mom didn’t remember having any aspirations or dreams – only “to get the hell out of that house!” She consistently described her life as a child as horrible, filled with beatings and abuse by the hand of her stepmother who allegedly made unreasonable and impossible demands that could never be fulfilled. Stories of sneaking food and eating raw potatoes because they were so hungry, never wanting to get caught doing anything they weren’t supposed to do – all these things would result in beatings. Supposedly the children’s aid was called by the school because of bruising on Mom’s shoulders. A teacher gave Mom a pair of shoes because she came to school in bare feet.
Yet, through all of this, Mom did so well in school that she was skipped a grade when Mary ended the home schooling and sent her to Mattawa Public. She was also exempt from writing the entrance exam for high school (that was a thing back then). Yet, Mom’s diary speaks only nice things about her step-mother, always calling her “Mom”, buying her Christmas presents, looking forward to going “home” for Christmas and having such a great time there. It is indeed puzzling. What happened that Mom’s hate and distain for her step-mother developed later in her life after she had married Dad. Mom even went and stayed with her step-mother, nursing her back to health shortly after her and Dad were married.
I can only think that perhaps this was around the time she discovered that her biological mother was still alive and had been in a mental institution all those years since she was 4.
Her sister Jean was not so fortunate and was denied high school entrance for failing the test. Phillip, her brother, was exempt from writing as well, but never attended high school either.
Aunt Jean’s childhood memories are the same as Mom’s and being the oldest sibling, she would have more memory of Florence (their biological mother) and more memory of Mary.
Mom’s autograph book captured life moments from the people in her life. And she even chronicled her own life in the back of the book:
- graduated with Honours June 1938, Mattawa Public school
- started high school Sept 1938
- quit high school Dec 1938
- stayed home till Maysie was born
After 3 months in grade 9, Mom left school.
- May 19, 1939, started out to work on my own
- June 1939, first at Chenier’s
- Sept 1939 at Henri Rochon’s
- Jan 1940 Symington Smith’s farm
- later to Reuben Cross’s
- then Duggettes in Eau Claire
- then to H. McLaren – 1940
Dearest Joan,
Remember true and bear in mind
A true friend is hard to find.
And when you find one just as true,
Change not the old for the new.
– Mrs. R. Cross
Her first position at the tender age 13, was with Verice Chenier, as a live-in housekeeper. After only two months, she worked for Joe Rochon. Her salary was about $1.00 per month. It was her third position with Mrs. John Smith of Mattawa that set the stage for her future. The son of Mrs. Smith, Newton, was married to Helen Cross. Helen’s mother, Mrs. Viola Cross became ill, so Mom took employment at her house in Eau Claire. By the age of 15 or 16, Mom was working for Mrs. Cross’s other daughter, Bessie, who was married to Harry McLaren in Rutherglen. They had a daughter, Jeannie, at the time. She soon met Lloyd Smith who was a good friend of Harry’s.
Dear Joan
Remember me and my good wishes
In the pantry washing dishes
If your water is too hot
Cool it and Forget me not.
– Lloyd, August 30, 1941, Lover’s Lane, North Bay
Dear Joan,
When twilight draw the curtain down,
And pins it with a star,
Remember that you have a friend,
Though she may wonder far.
– Jeannie McLaren, October 25, 1941
Dear Joan
If you want to gain
Heavenly joys
Think more of the Lord
And less of the boys.
– Bessie McLaren
Dear Joan
When you are old and ugly
As people sometimes do
Remember that you have a friend
That’s old and ugly too.
– Harry McLaren
(Bessie’s brother)
When Mom’s salary rose from $5 to $15 per month, Grampa instructed her to send $5 per month home to Mary.
Mom kept a 5-year diary from 1941 to 1944. As a child, I was NEVER allowed to read it. Mom always said that when she was dead, I could read it. Now I have it. 🙂
There are entries for Jan 1 -4 (her 16th birthday), 1941, then nothing until October 1941 when she started writing daily. Its striking that, and it really shouldn’t be a surprize, that Mom and Dad were different back then. Beginning in October, there’s a rare day that doesn’t have an entry about her receiving a letter from Dad, or about her writing one to him. Dad wrote to Mom about three times a week, and to other man, AND to her “Mom”.
When my mother talked about her stepmother, she never referred to her as “Mom”, always “Maw” and with distain. Yet, in her diary, she writes to “Mom” about twice a month. It could be that she wrote a letter to go with the $5.00 she was sending. But there isn’t one bad thought or word about her stepmother anywhere in the diary.
December 18, 1941: “Went out in aft. Did Christmas shipping. Bought Mom a bedspread, boys socks, Dad Barberset, Jean tea towels…”
December 25, 1941: “Bobby [Uncle Phil] came to Jeans in morning. Bobby, Jean, Carson and I went home for dinner, then we all went to Jeans for supper…”
December 25, 1942: “Had breakfast at Jeans. went home for dinner. We all came back to Jeans for supper. Had a swell time.”
Mom’s diary also tells of times when Dad was angry with her and they argued. This alone is NOT the Dad I knew – a quiet subdued man who never fought or argued. The day Dad ordered her diamond, Mom went on a date with another guy, Mervin Hunt. And on the day she saw her diamond, she was still seeing Mervin. Of all the men Mom told me she dated, Mervin was NEVER mentioned. After she broke up with Mervin, she still wrote him letters.
In the back of the diary, are three addresses of soldiers, one of them is SPR M. I. Hunt from Petawawa. Is this Mervin? And now I know was SPR means, thanks to my brother Wayne. SPR mean Sapper and it’s also what Grampa Gallson was in the army.
November 24, 1941: “Mervin phoned me from barracks, wants me to go to show with him tomorrow nite, undecided whether to or not, think Lloyd will find out and be mad.”
December 16, 1941: “Received letter from Lloyd, spent eve alone at home writing letters [to] Mervin, Bobby [Uncle Phil], Mom, Jean.”
December 17, 1941: “Lloyd gave me my engagement ring. I was very happy.”
Mom kept all of Dad’s “love” letters and from what the diary reveals, there were lots. But the story we were told about those letters, was that after they were married, when Mom went to Mattawa to look after her stepmother when she was ill, Dad found all the letters and burned them all.
A ring is round
And hath no end
So is my love
For you dear friend.
Your pal,
– Muriel Brown, October 23, 1941
Wanting to better herself, Joan would go to the employment office in North Bay to look for jobs. She found one in the kitchen at St. Joseph’s Hospital. While working there, she boarded with Mrs. Miller on Algonquin Avenue. Joan was often visited by her gentleman caller, Lloyd Smith. Joan’s next position was with the Gordon’s on Jane Street, who’s father-in-law was Senator Gordon. The Gordon’s did not allow Joan to have callers, so she would sneak Lloyd into the house for their visits.
Dear Joan
When rocks and hills divide us
And only this you see
Just take your pen and paper
And write a line to me.
– Muriel Miller, August 11, 1941
- then to North Bay at George Gordon’s, Jane St.
- 1941 St. Jo’s Hospital, then back to McLaren’s in Rutherglen
- then worked for Myrtle Buchanan
Dearest Joan
I love you little|
I love you big
I love you
Just like a little pig.
– Jean S., St. Joseph’s Hospital, North Bay
I love you great
I love you mighty
I wish my pajamas
Were close to your nighty
Don’t be mistaken
Don’t be mislead
I mean on the clothesline
And not in bed.
Your friend
– Florence, August 14, 1941, St. Joseph’s Hospital
Mom went back to work for Bessie and Harry McLaren in Rutherglen for a short period before taking a position at the home of Myrtle Buchanan in North Bay. Myrtle was a spinster, a teacher and the sister-in-law of Lloyd’s sister, Georgina Buchanan. Lloyd eventually proposed to Joan by asking her if she would like to “help him milk the cows”. And even though she hated milking cows, she said yes.
- took a course in workshop at Alg. Comp. school
- then to Toronto to work at John Inglis gun factory (1942)
- came home to Rutherglen to marry Lloyd Smith June 25, 1943.